Mind over matter
My first post in a while. And it has been a long while. I want to begin with a mission statement. I am turning a new page in my life this year.
Cliche eh? Well I can't help it, the page started turning without me even really trying. The past few weeks have been a really trying time and I am trying to build inner strength by not letting things get to me and by get to me I mean stop me from being the best that I can be. That is bacially what I have resolved to do, get more out myself. And thus I am not drinking. I know i said last time that I would be sober but that just isn't plausable for me right now. Getting high keeps me grounded. The drinking or not drinking as the case is, isn't THAT hard. It has been pretty trying I'm not going to lie. However this Saturday will be 3 weeks and I figure 3 weeks is 7 days away from a month, and a month is a long time. 6 is just a really long time, but I'm pretty much over it. Pretty much.
See mind over matter. I am trying to conqour my world one small vice at a time.
What my mind is still struggling over is my relationship with people. I am back in London away from all of my friends and while it was fucking fantastic to see everyone again, it just isn't the same. And yesterday I blocked and deleted John because I am so fucking sick of his attitude that i don't want anything to do with him anymore. We are just in two different points in our lives and I guess you could saw we are better off without. But see thats where my heart starts to hurt. When i start losing friends back home and I'm here pretty much by myself, what do I do? I need to find a boyfriend.... I've written before haven't I?
I was in the gym today and as I half assed my way through my routine, my thought about how I don't even have a work out partner. Why is that? I am really just that anti-social. I really don't want to believe that, but fuck, I went a party last nite and didn't meet any new people. Why?
I think it's because I've always been a really self conscious person and I would rather be alone than with people who are jsut being nice. And thus my small circle of friends. I don't know. As i reached down to pick up my weights to start another set, I said to myself mind over matter. I am not going to let this shit bother me anymore. I am not going to let Telus bother me. I am not going to get Ikea bother me. Mind over matter. I can do it.
Me, Myself and I
Is all I got in the end
thats what I found out
and there ain't no need to cry
cause I took a vow that from now on
I'ma be my own best friend
Cliche eh? Well I can't help it, the page started turning without me even really trying. The past few weeks have been a really trying time and I am trying to build inner strength by not letting things get to me and by get to me I mean stop me from being the best that I can be. That is bacially what I have resolved to do, get more out myself. And thus I am not drinking. I know i said last time that I would be sober but that just isn't plausable for me right now. Getting high keeps me grounded. The drinking or not drinking as the case is, isn't THAT hard. It has been pretty trying I'm not going to lie. However this Saturday will be 3 weeks and I figure 3 weeks is 7 days away from a month, and a month is a long time. 6 is just a really long time, but I'm pretty much over it. Pretty much.
See mind over matter. I am trying to conqour my world one small vice at a time.
What my mind is still struggling over is my relationship with people. I am back in London away from all of my friends and while it was fucking fantastic to see everyone again, it just isn't the same. And yesterday I blocked and deleted John because I am so fucking sick of his attitude that i don't want anything to do with him anymore. We are just in two different points in our lives and I guess you could saw we are better off without. But see thats where my heart starts to hurt. When i start losing friends back home and I'm here pretty much by myself, what do I do? I need to find a boyfriend.... I've written before haven't I?
I was in the gym today and as I half assed my way through my routine, my thought about how I don't even have a work out partner. Why is that? I am really just that anti-social. I really don't want to believe that, but fuck, I went a party last nite and didn't meet any new people. Why?
I think it's because I've always been a really self conscious person and I would rather be alone than with people who are jsut being nice. And thus my small circle of friends. I don't know. As i reached down to pick up my weights to start another set, I said to myself mind over matter. I am not going to let this shit bother me anymore. I am not going to let Telus bother me. I am not going to get Ikea bother me. Mind over matter. I can do it.
Me, Myself and I
Is all I got in the end
thats what I found out
and there ain't no need to cry
cause I took a vow that from now on
I'ma be my own best friend
posted by sg/20something/male at 1:12 PM
1 Comments:
W-Ha
Post.
Or I might just have to come to London and shoot you with my scarberian-ness
L-Po
xxox
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