We kissed behind the stop sign, under the pale blue moonlight

The moon was very bright that night, moonshine made everything silver. His lips and mine, parted ever so slightly to make it slightly indecent. And then I smiled.
He makes me smile. And for that I am thankful. Its all that I could have hoped and dreamed for and its only been a week. It seems like I have soo much story to tell, but it really has only been a week. And I live in the perpetual post modern fear of, what if we break up?
Firstly, we aren't even going out. Secondly, what the hell does that mean anyways?
I fear that if I write a blog about it or think about it too much I will subconsciously kill this thing before its even off the ground.
But then I think, I wouldn't be so worried if I didn't like him. And I do. I like him, I like him, I'm soo in like with him. And I can't quite get a hold on his position. But I also think that may be because I am too worried about me to even realize what he is hopefully blatanly telling. I just... I like him.
I love how that works as an excuse. And I think its valid. This... stuff makes u mad. You can't think straight. You slowly make realizations that you making decision based on someone else. I never think about anyone else. Except now.
Its wreaking hacov on school. I have a whole bunch of essays and such to get started on this week. well like, this is my transition week, I have to set up my work schdule for the next few weeks to get all this work done. Oh school.
But, you see, its always ok. Because me and are going out tmw. and the day after that. I'm smiling.

P.S. , I'm leaving your name out becuase... I think its kind of cool and mysterious even though well, everybody know... and i think personally seeing your name attached to crap like this is kind of awkward, I know you're reading it so, take this as my invitation.

And now for something completely different

This weekend is almost over. School starts tomorrow. What day is it? Sunday.
What did I do last sunday? What did I do today?
My job has taken over my life. And its the worst job in the world.
Ok now that the melodrama is out of the way, my crappy job really has taken over my life. I find that I have taken a somewhat summer attitude to it. I do it because it affords me booze. And so when I'm working, I try to drink. Now my reasoing goes as follows. Since I'm working 'a lot' it keeps me from drinking 'a lot'. I think the quotes say everything. Turns out that I now drink so much when i'm not working, all my other time is written off, due to the issues that go along with boozing, namely, laziness. I don't want to go to the gym or read. And thats pretty much all i do.
Or used to do.
I really do need to take tomorrow to get my life together. Its just that, well, I'm working tomorrow. See. Its bad. Well not that bad but... The next time I know I have time off is, the weekend of NIN, and that only because I decided today that i'm going to tell my boss that i'm taking it off.
Anyways, thats the boring part of my life. Midterms and work and crap is crappy. Lets talk about boys.
I have tried to keep my obsession with boys, well not a thing for blog chat, but I thought about it today and do love them. Some imparticular, but in general, they're... well most good.
The reason that i wanted to write this blog was because today and I was coming ot this realization, a thought just said it clearly. And I never wanted to forget it.
I like a boy, and flirt with him because I like the shape of his mouth. Teeth more specifically.

I met a boy the other day. It was last night actually. And I really like him. I say really like, in the most grade 7 of ways. I feel shy around him, who does that. There are people who you feel..., well I don't do shy. Not this shy. And its the shy where you keep talking because silence between you is unbarable. In a good way. Its like and orgasism so good you arch your spine. And you don't want to arch your spine in front of this boy. Not yet at least. To make it that much better when you do.
Maybe its not so much in a grade 7 way.

Dear god,
If you read my blog, please let this one work out for me. It would be oh so nice. How about, if you do let me have him, or let him have me, I will take all the money I spend on lottery tickets and donate it to, a charitable organization of some sort. Salvation army? Hows that, I even picked something churchy.... Amen

Ok well, that was good. we should do that again soon.